Stressed Out

Just don't know how much more I can take, losing my father, and my financial situation don't have enough for EI because the program i was in Skill's Link didn't give me my last pay it was a one week one that was all i needed to start receiving EI for a full year. Now i have to apply for Welfare something i was on before and i don't want to go back on it.

Also my weight has gone up like crazy i am about 270 pounds or more crazy is right, i remember when i used to be 192 pounds. That is because of all of the stress i have been under so i have been getting a lot of chips, bars, drinking lots and lots of pop, eating fast food lots of it. Also lots of gambling doing loads of scratch tickets and breakopens. It has gotten out of control. I also have lost all of my determination i have no idea how I am going to get it back.

I have been applying at a few places but no response back from them. Also i have heard absolutely nothing about if the Hector Exhibit Centre got any funding for me. If they did i would be able to go back there and work full time. I am also very mad at Dorothy Dole, Angela, Nikkie, Lyndsay for not helping me find a job. They failed, I did everything i could but their side wasn't doing as much to get that wheel turning.

Also i ain't the only one others who have been in the Skills Link program are also without work. They also tried very hard and did everything they could. What they did to us is something that is mean, wrong, and totally out of line. It's going to be almost impossible to celebrate Halloween and Christmas this year without my father it will be the first of a lot to come. Things certainly will never be the same again.Tomorrow I am planning on getting more copies down of my Resume and Cover Letter done at the Dobsons Centre. At least then i will have more copies and will go around tomorrow and put some in at Sobeys, McDonalds, Pizza Delight and Zellers.

Not all is negative however, they did help me with one thing and that was my portfolio and i do appreciate that. At least I have something the employer can look at.

About my Dad and Memories of my Dad

About my Dad

My dad loved his children Roddy, Tommy, Leo and Denise
He loved his loving wife Leona
He always took care of us
He loved his pets (Max, Mancub, Queenie, Snowball, Molly)
He loved cars
He liked going to flea markets
He enjoyed doing flues, mowing lawns, shoveling snow, selling tvs, vcrs

Memories of my dad
My dad always said don’t look at those pictures of hot girls you’ll go blind lol
Me and my dad used to mow lawns together at Langille’s, one day Langille got in his van
And he almost choke on the seatbelt because he put in on wrong.
One of my dad’s back tires was low on air and langille in the front seat he sunk down when I got in the
Backseat lol
We used to always carry on about wrestling
My dad used to barbecue hamburgers and some of the chokehold from the bottom of the barbecue got into the hamburger lol my mom and me tasted like rocks in them.
My dad a lot of time took me to sobeys and told me lol to open up one of those regular size 500ml of chocolate milk and drink it lol and never paid for it lol
Me and dad used to buy the pepsi slushies before going to mow a lawn
My dad walked the butt of our past little doggie Queenie hehe
My dad loved his kit kat bars
My father never was into the rich life always made just enough money so we could live
My father loved going to weddings
Me and dad always carried on with a stuffed toy called slyvester

My Father is in the hospital but fine now

First he went to the hospital then his heart was racing with a lot of fluid built up in his heart and lungs the doctor he took a minor heart attack reducing his heart function from 30 percent to 20 percent. The doctor said the next one would probably be a massive heartache, luckily however the medication they gave him actually worked and now all of the fluid is gone around his lungs and heart. He had some breathing issues too because of the fluid but the x-rays done on his chest all three of them showed that he is ok.

He is still in the ICU room for now, but will probably be moved down to the ward soon. What a weekend this was!!!.

Update: I was wrong my father passed away on Sunday apparently only some of the fluid left his lungs and around his heart. He took a massive heartache on Sunday. I miss him so much!!! I love you dad!!!

My Workout

Treadmill burned 463 calories, 2.21 miles for 35 minutes

Very Bad News!!!

Not good news, this morning my Mom got a phone call from the hospital. My father had small heart attacks , now they have him hooked up to a machine giving him morphine. My mom was in tears and so am i , were both depressed. Our big concern now is a lot of the time well small heart attacks can lead to a big heart attack. My sister came down this morning saying he may need a pacemaker. Also our cat Mancub took another seizure this morning, he didn't have one for 40 days. Very sad right now, and angry as well, at the doctor who gave him a lot of medication. Which i think probably cause his small heart attacks. Also a part of his heart is now weaker obviously after the small heart attacks. Damn, i never really believed in miracles before but me and my family really need a big one now.


If anyone sees this post, please pray for my family right now. We can sure use it.

My Family Not Having Good Luck

First, my brother Roddy's and his wife Tanya's truck was stolen. Tanya forgot her truck keys and left them in the truck, after a long day of work. He also left 20 dollars in her wallet in the car along with all of her cards. The police found their truck and it was inbounded. He does have insurance on his vehicle which is good news. Second, my brother Tommy and his girlfriend Becky got the bad news that they won't get custody of Skyler and Trinity. The case worker taking of this case of child abuse. His past girlfriend Melissa abused the kids, and is now out of town afraid probably of charges that will be layed on her. The case worker had the nerve to say that my brother was selfish, that he thought of himself before the kids. Which is not true at all.

Third, this is what happened, me and my mom we went to the library. Tommy and Becky took my father for a drive, Tommy and Becky with my father got back before we did, he went to go the bedroom didn't make it. He fell on the floor near the mircowave. We got home my mom saw him their on the floor he had a couple of bruises on him from landing. My Mom got my brother Tommy to take him to the hospital so they went away to the hospital. My mom said when she got home that they did a bunch of tests on him in the emergency room. As far as the doctors know based on the tests he has very low blood pressure. They think it's because of him being on three different medications for his blood pressure. When he's sleeping his blood pressure is normal but as soon as he gets up it drops a lot. So the doctors are keeping him in to closely monitor his blood pressure. He should be out in a few days. This happened yesterday.


My Mom and my sister are going over to the hospital, they only allow two vistors to see the patient at one time. They they are going to be seeing my father this afternoon. My poor mom and i too found it hard to sleep last night no wonder after all of the bad luck we have had as of late.

Things I Would Change If I Could

These things were all in the past so of course cannot be changed.

- I would of got more involved in sports in school
- Should of told that girl that i loved her
- Should of not stolen
- Should of saved money, put it into the bank
- Should of took less sick days off in grade 10

Met A Girl A Few Weeks Ago And It Went Great

Her name is January she's 28 years old, i am 24 years old we met on plentyoffish. We chatted their for awhile and then we shared our msns together and chatted there. We met eachother a few weeks ago on a sunday afternoon, i met her at a gas station then we walked to my home. She got to see my mom and then i showned her around the house. She's amazing we had a lot of fun together we also have a lot in common she likes animals so do i. She likes a lot of music that i like too plus she likes horror movies like me.


She stayed for supper to my mom cooked up some hamburgers and strawberries with whip cream for dessert. It was delicious we went for a short walk too holding eachother's hands. We did a lot of cuddling too and kissing and some hugging. She told me too she is coming down for two weeks in August which will be great. She told me my pics don't do me justice [flattering]. She told me she likes my eyes which is awesome, i told her i really like the inside of her the most. She said the same thing that is what truly counts [smiles].



She said she feels very short around me hehe me being 6'5 and her being 5'5 hehe. She told me she likes tall guys which is good. She's from Sherbrooke I am from New Glasgow yes a little distance there but we really connect well with eachother.


She is around an amazing women, someone who is definitely worth waiting for. She has great parents too their down to earth too like my parents are. We are now in a open relationship, taking it slow which is a good thing. Because you never want to rush into something. I really love her smile too it makes me light up inside. I told her my birthday was in August too so she marked that down. Her birthday is in January so i will indeed will remember too. She smokes i don't but that is perfectly fine with me. We all have our addictions for sure.



She sang too me too which was great and i was singing some to her too, she told me that is the first time she sang to someone. Also the first time she felt comfortable around a guy. In the beginning yes i was nervous but that worn out because i was getting comfortable with her. Can't wait to together again with her hopefully soon.

Things That Are Happening In My Life

I am hanging in their i guess my poor cat takes seizures once every two months. My father isn't get any better yet, my brother Roddy is in the hospital for a checkup because he has pain in his stomach, chest, shoulders and back. My other brother Tommy has been bumming my mom for food, to use her phone and to do his laundry for money. Well he only paid her 20 dollars for like 4 loads of laundry and you know how much laundry soap is. So she told him and his girlfriend which is Becky not to come around our house again. Plus we are struggling to get by to the end of the month. Waiting now to hear how my brother Roddy's checkup went at the hospital. Other than all of that stuff that is going on everything else is ok.

Me And Stacey Broke up

Stacey and i broke up we were in a relationship for about 2 weeks we were good friends before then . Ok here comes why, she called me on the phone we were suppose to meet at my house, she said her sister was very sick i said it's ok. I understood that but here is where it becomes really bad, she said Mcdonald's restaurant which she said she may take me too when we were going to meet at my house. She said it was closed dued to a cochroach, and her brother said that. My mom called up Mcdonald's restaurant she got a hold of the manager she asked her if Mcdonald's was closed anyday on tuesday. The manager said they were open all day. So she lied to me, she wanted me to choose who was telling me the truth and i chose my mom. She got mad at me for calling her a liar, instead of admitting she was lieing she said it was my fault. I'm really hurt right now, i seen her true colors.

Stacey Is Amazing!

Her mom drove me to her and Stacey's house. I was treated well, Stacey showed me her room, brother's room and parents room and the bathroom. Stacey is a good cook, i enjoyed her mashed potatoes and porkchops with vegetables. Me and Stacey now are boyfriend and girlfriend, i am happy, her pets too are very cute. It is my privelage to be Stacey's boyfriend, she is an amazing wonderful, kind, honest, tall, funny, smart person, hot and cute person. I like her family, but most importantly i like Stacey a lot. I have always been the type of guy that likes to talk to some other people more than others. I guess you can say i choose who i talk to and who i don't talk too.

Today is Easter, and i am thinking about Stacey, I think about her a lot. My cat Max is feeling better now, which is good. Another thing i found today was that me and Stacey both like the song in the end by Linkin Park. Stacey makes me happy inside and out which is one of the most important things about our relationship.

Great Meeting Today At Tim Hortons With Stacey

We both sat down and talked, i shared with her pics of me when i was younger also a pic of my brother Roddy and father and sister. It was awesome her mother drove me home and Stacey gave me a hug. I am liking Stacey more and more as time goes on. She is a very sweet person, with a very caring heart. She told me her previous boyfriend well he thought of himself and himself only. As she knows i ain't like that, a completely different person to say the least. So happy that an amazing girl has come into my life, her courage, strength, honesty, sarcasm, cuteness all of that is a big turnon.



Her love for animals also is a turnon it is one of the things and we sure have in common. She is an down to earth amazing women! one of a kind that is for certain. I felt really great when we met today, she makes me very happy being around her. Can't wait to meet her again.

Met A Great Girl Yesterday

I met her yesterday at my house she came with her mother and brother. Her name is Stacey in case your wondering, she is so nice, tall, honest and funny.She sure was tall 6'0 1/2 and with heels on she is 6'2, her other heels make her 6'3 1/2. I am by the way 6'5,she told me she would have to buy an 5 inch pair of heels to be as tall as me. I love her smile too, she wowed me yesterday i was amazed. Our next meeting is this tuesday at dinner time at tim hortons, can't wait. At first i was very nervous and shy then mellowed out some. She sat beside me on the couch and i gave her an hug, she told me it felt great.


She said too she hopes hehe when we kiss it is as great as the hug was. Her mother and brother are also really nice people. Last night me and her chatted some more on msn, her brother Derrek added me too msn. Her mother is also nice her name is Alva she told me i'm a great gentleman. I showed her my room yesterday too she said she liked my room.


She also saw one of my black and white cats called Mancub hehe he said he is cute and big. We have many things in common such as we both like watching the biggest loser on nbc. She also likes basketball, so do i, also we both love pets and kids and family. I haven't met her sister yet can't wait!.

Things I bought myself this month

I just thought it would be different to go through a list of stuff that i purchased this month.

1. A pack of razor blades
2. Some gatorade
3. A couple of bottles of juice
4. 2 litres of chocolate milk
5. Lotto tickets
6. A pair of jogging pants
7. A pair of sneakers
8. A pack of underwear
9. A webcam
10. A pack of gum